Date: 2018-02-21 14:35
First let me just say teens are going to have sex if we like it or not, and it 8767 s not always at a young age, but we are seeing more and more teens doing this so young, which is sad. With that being said I don 8767 t feel like this post is sending the best message on how to deal with this situation, teens are going to act out more trying to be forced by parents to do something that they don 8767 t want to do, I have seen it first hand. I also don 8767 t think we should shove the word of God down teens throat to much, most teens do not give a crap about what the bible says at their age because they are going to do what they want, then worry about it later. I just don 8767 t think saying 8776 you need to repent unholy *censored*, for you have done a sin in his eyes and are now unclean 8776 is the best way to handle the situation. There is a way to talk to your *censored*s about purity in gods eyes but don 8767 t say god will think you unholy in taking a part in this act. I only say this because a family that is very close to mine, did the same thing with every single thing they did, talking about gods word for when they sneezed, and they are the most rebellious teens I know. Moving on, learn how to trust your *censored*s, you have to teach them how to be trusting which is very easy, don 8767 t get strict on your *censored*s, and call them every hour asking where they are, when they start getting into early stages of puberty, etc. teach them to be honset with you, let them know how upset you get when they lie, and don 8767 t yell at them, don 8767 t make them do 65 Hail Marys, *censored*s feel more guilty when their parents are disappointed in them, then being angry, in their mind they think they are adults and feel like they have to be treated as such, sit down with them, talk with them about how it upset you that they lied, just talk first! Ask them why they thought they felt the need to lie to you, after you talk then you can ground them for however long you want, if they try to scream and yell when you are talking to them send them to their room and let them calm down, and tell them I will speak with you when you address me in an adult matter, teens tend to listen and be less stupid when we have are emotions in control. Same goes for you, if you do end up yelling at your *censored*, let yourself calm down and then ask to talk to your *censored* again. Now in order for your *censored* to be trusting and honest is to, give them the chance to be trusting, don 8767 t call them every hour, asking what they are doing, they teen I would hang out from that family, mom and dad would call her every hour and she would lie each time, I even asked her why don 8767 t you just tell her what you are doing? She said she doesn 8767 t want to trust me anyway so why tell her the truth. Lastly talk with your *censored*s about sex and boys, they are going to figure it out anyway so might as well be from you, but be truthful about what boys want at that age, and the risks and how it could change their life 8767 s and let them know they are worth so much better than that. My mother when I was a teen took a day out of both of are schedules, and all we did was talk about boys, the birds, and the bees. Talk to them about it when they ask about it, don 8767 t just bring it up over the dinner table, you can talk about it again when they have that first boyfriend. Don 8767 t let them tread out in open water with out least giving them a paddle. Look we all were teens once, we remember how it was to be a teen, we can 8767 t prevent teens for having sex, or saving them selfs for marriage, even in the 6855 8767 s teens where having sex, it 8767 s just not a normal thing any more, but let them know to save themselves for someone to truly love and care about, and to not feel pressed into doing something, that is not for them. Look all I 8767 m saying is get to know your *censored*s, that is the problem with today, parents don 8767 t try to get to know their *censored*s, parents it 8767 s not like it 8767 s the Scientific method. Also we all find are path to God in are own way when we need him the most and when we ask for his help, so don 8767 t force someone on the path to God when they are not ready to take that path. My mother did all this with me and I have never done drugs, got out partying all the time, I didn 8767 t lie, always told my mother what I was doing with out her even asking me, and I saved myself for someone special, and I was very happy with my choice. All this is, is gettting to know your *censored*.
This exact situation just unfolded for me unfortunately. I did a search online to try and reach out to other people with similar experiences. This guy i had fallen in love with found out his ex was pregnant from one last fling, they weren 8767 t together at the time, she showed up out of no where still having feelings for him and they had sex one last time. Then, literally 7 weeks later he meets me, some one who is actually more compatible with. She waits 8 months to tell him, and meanwhile we are falling for each other. Its sinister to think about, that during that time frame where I was really developing feelings for someone, that situation was developing with out my knowledge. Why she conveniently waited 8 months to tell him, just after the legal abortion date in out state i will never know, and honestly it hurt me to even have thoughts like that, the situation takes a person to a place where they cant even stand to go. When he found out he took some time to talk to her and decide what they were going to do, she still had feelings for him, he said he wanted to move on, he had met some one new. This also pained me, to think a pregnant women was feeling extra vulnerable knowing her prospective partner was dating while she was pregnant. Despite my obvious discomfort at having this situation develop, i didn 8767 t want her to feel pain. In fact I felt this so strongly, even though i will also suspect she tried to get pregnant on purpose to trap him, that I stayed away from him. It was too hard. My heart was breaking in so many ways i started to feel sick from it. There was chance it wasn 8767 t going to be his, so i waited kind of, staying away form him for the results of the test. He was upset at how distant i was, but honestly i just couldn 8767 t handle the stress and sadness of it. If she did trap him thats the act of a desperate woman and Im not desperate like that. He just told me the results of the test yesterday, its his and I felt an immediate need to get myself out of this situation and to safety. He was pressuring me to 8775 stand and fight 8776 for him. Fight who? A new mother? a baby? I told him he needed to go be with his son now all the time and blocked his humber. The stress and pain of everything was threatening to turn me into an angry person, i was angry he couldn 8767 t let me go, I was mad at myself for not being able to be 655% kind to him, some times I would vent and text him angry things out of pain and misery. Finally i just knew it was going to break me. Now this *censored*, should be his focus, I don 8767 t want to be apart of this sad, heart breaking thing. My mother actually put it best 8775 You cant choose if your heart is going to be broken by some one, but you can choose not to break your own heart 8776 . He doesn 8767 t have a car, and I was going to give him an old one i bought, and I just started to feel bitter and crazy. i had nightmares of vulnerable babies and angry baby mommas and finally I just blocked his number.
DISAGREEMENT ALERT: I am an eighteen year old Christian girl who has been raised in a Christian family. This article is offensive to me in the fact that you think we are being misled by our parents. We as teenage girls aren 8767 t stupid. We know that sex before marriage was not intended. We can come to that conclusion on our own. Your quote “We need to stop putting our *censored*ren into adult situations and expecting them to make wise, God honoring decisions” I want to laugh at. We aren’t going to live under rocks all our lives. Sure, I believe that sheltering from worldly things is best, but you can’t remove us from any situations. God instills a gift in a teenage girl to “sniff out” the bad guy wanting us just for our bodies. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three months. Funny thing is, I knew he liked me and pursued me for my personality. Over a three and a half month period, there was plenty of times for us to make-out or get “to it”, but you know what? The only thing he ever did was kiss me on the cheek for our Valentine’s dinner. I think in this article you have turned us into sex-crazed *censored*s that can’t function without our parents putting us in chastity belts. I have an intuition of the right guy from the wrong guy. Just last week, my friend Snapchat “booty called” me. I have had the biggest crush on him forever and have wanted nothing more than to date him. But when he asked me if I wanted to come over because he wanted someone to have sex with, I said no. My mom didn’t find out until today what happened and how I handled it. So thank you very much, but I can remove my own self from sexual situations, because us “clueless and gullible” teenage girls you mistake us for were once you. Have you ever thought that maybe a teenage girl’s sexual curiosity’s are because parents treat sex as such a taboo thing. My parents are willing to talk with me when I have questions, and frankly, I’m about as unfiltered as it comes. They are open and honest about it, divulging me the appropriate details and being transparent in their love for one another. In this article, if you are discouraging talking about sex, as I read you are, you are only allowing our curiosity for it to grow. The unknown is what makes it exciting and tempting for us. So before you want to say that we can’t handle it and we need to be “rescued” from all our sinnin’. Check yourselves and ask if you are being completely transparent about sex. Because it’s a natural and beautiful thing God made. And I’m perfectly content making my own decisions. And by the way, I’m still a virgin and I have survived my youth years without my parents having to remove me from ANY situation. Thank you very much.